The Not-So-Normal Gal

 1.  You have no idea what you mean to me. You are not someone I've known all my life but I would like to. You being so far away is one of the toughest things because there are days where I wish I could hug you and tell you that it'll all be okay. If I had all the money in the world I'd fly to you all the time. You are my light, my strength. A voice of empathy and understanding. You have a heart of gold, my love. I can never imagine staying sane in the circumstances you have had to face. But you aren't only surviving, you're thriving, go off queen. I needn't go on for too long because I reiterate my love for you, time and time again. Just know that I'm here till it's dangerous for babies to go on jungle gyms. Here's a song for you, it should bring back some memories https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3dezFzsNss 2.  A true legend, you have opened my eyes to new perspectives and I have had so many fun and memorable moments with you, though they were supe...

  “People will kill you. Over time. They will shave out every last morsel of fun in you with little, harmless sounding phrases that people uses every day, like: 'Be realistic!'" - Dylan Moran I am nobody,  two weeks before I was officially due, born in a disaster,  one of the biggest earthquakes my country will know. The epicenter isn't far.  My alloted hospital is a pile of rubble. My mom is greeted  by a candle held in the doctor's hand as she is lead into a low laying room with a broken window where she brings me into this world. I am a year and a half, we move away to a big city, I will have no memories of my birthplace.    I am three years old. The teacher comes in our our first day of Pre school to find me alone and upset. She hands me a book that makes sounds and that becomes the only recollection I have from that era of my life.  I am six now. I run around in the howling rain and strom with my weak umbrella with the sole purpose of tu...

As I write this, I am 19 years old. 4 months short of not being a teenager anymore. I started this blog when I was 13. (It was August of 2014 so you could say this is sort of a late 6th-anniversary post.) Time goes by quick, doesn't it? I was a child; that's not to say I'm not a child right now but you know what I mean. The last post on this blog is from 2018 but I really stopped using this back in 2017. It's been three whole years. Nothing seems different but yet everything has changed, hasn't it?  I don't know where to start. I truly do not.  I finished high school, I'm halfway through college. I imagine this moment would have been unfathomable to 2014 Shreya. I guess I should start with filling you in on the major events in my life so far. I am not friends with even half the people I knew when you last heard from me. In fact, I can only name a couple that have stayed with me since then.  I fell in love again, no surprise there. I fell in love harder than ...

Dear you-know-who-you-are-though- you'll-never-read-this I hope youre happy and you know now what it feels like to be in love. I cannot be bitter towards your change of heart about the fact that you didn't want to date people. I guess a couple of months is enough to change perspectives. We haven't talked for a while. This has been the longest break between us since we started talking. I'm pretty sure this break is going to continue till either of us gets super drunk and finds themselves in the wrong city.  I will not tell you that I miss you this time around. If you know me, you already know that I do. I think of you sometimes, it's not that often anymore but I do. In a couple of days it'll be I think 8 months since the day I told you I was in love with you and it all went to batshit. Still we managed to have our good moments. I will not tell you that I love you this time around either because a) the fact hasn't changed b) I can imagine it's a re...

A couple of days ago I head the one and only (non existent entity as of now) Hannah Montana on the radio. (*HEYY GET UPPP GET LOUDDD START   PUMPING UP THE PARTY NOW*) This came out in 2006. 11 freaking years ago. And here it was playing on a request-a-song radio show in 2017. Gosh. I know. Cringe. But also nostalgia. The painfully simple lyrics and the semi to full auto tuned vocals brought me back to sitting in front of the TV when I was 5, belting out near perfect renditions of all her songs (I still can btw.)  I also made me realize just how much I miss things being "painfully simple".  ----- topic change ------ My life isn't a drama by any means even if I make it seem a bit (or a lot) dramatic on here. I'm a happy sunflower. I don't have any outstanding dreams or larger than life plans. I just really want to be happy and make others happy. I want to make cakes for bake sales and be there when people need to vent. I want to have kids that become good pe...

Spoken word poetry is by far the most raw and efficient way to express in my opinion. Im in love with the format. Here are four of my poems. They're in chronical order. Maybe you can make out a story? (If you follow me on Instagram, you've already read these) ~ //my favourite baked good// He was beautiful He felt like a rose on my more than thorn body A firefly on a cold dark night, a beach at dawn He was electric The sparks like the bouncing of neurons in my,love blind brain. I was in shock. I didnt baby proof the sockets that couldve been fatal, something I regret not doing. He was a tv show that should've gone on air but was cancelled due to budget cuts, i had invested in that story from the moment it was on the drawing board. He was perpetually hypothetical. His arms around my waist, my lips against his, i was on fire. He was stone cold.  He twisted up my neck like poison ivy, my eyes locked in his. I could not breathe, but he sang. He was not a monster, b...

a couple of days ago (8 Sept) he said that he loved me.  Plot twist: it was no. V (see previous post) Plot twist: I couldn't say it back  Plot twist: hes okay with it Plot twist: I have a feeling I can say it back soon enough. 

This is the second time I'm typing this out. The first draft is still unposted. I don't think I'll ever make it public tbh. Anyway I just wanted to vent for a bit if that's fine by you. First off, it's been a while hasnt it? I missed you all (by all I mean the 3.7 people who read this blog but anywho)  Now to the topic of today's irrational rant, my love life or lackthereof. I'd like to start off by saying that I am a good person (not boasting, just facts) I take care of everyone around me. I make sure they feel loved and cherished and special. I try my best to be the best to everyone I know. I don't normally feel the need to get anything in return you know but sometimes it just feels I'm doing it all in vain. I'm 16 and I know I'll probably laugh at this post in a year but right now I just have a heavy heart that needs healing.  i. The first guy I ever actually felt truly for, was a huge jerk. He was all about basic gratification and ...

So one of my best friends is leaving the country as I type. She's on her way to Delhi right now to catch a flight to London and subsequently to LA where she's probably gonna live for the rest of her life but that's not the point. The point is that my ray of constant happiness is leaving. Sabrina is leaving. Of course we'll still talk everyday and we'll be constantly snapping each other but it's not the same uk? I can't hug her. I can't eat shitty cuppa noodles with her (okay it's not that shitty but I ate em cuz she liked em) I can't have instant text replies because timezones exist,  The first memory I have of her is hearing about her and a guy called Sarthak. I didn't know her then. I'm glad I didn't. We were completely different people then and I guess we would've hated each other.  Fast forward to January of 2016. It was the 11th I think. We texted each other on snapchat about something and we clicked instantly. We exch...

As I write this I'd like to thank the girl who reminds me constantly why I write. She reminds me why I record memories into words and those words into this website or in smaller pieces on some other social media. Whether it be in a cryptic manner or in a raw unadulterated way, I have managed to type out all major landmarks in my life in the past 3 years or so. Now I know why. Just a couple of minutes ago she texted me with screenshots of two posts. "Shit Happens"  and " Last Day Of Tenth Grade"  and she thanked me for writing those two posts. Reality is, in those two posts you can see how much changed. Aalya, you have become so much and this post is for you. (I'm sorry if some or most of this doesn't make sense to you, stranger on the internet, this is one of the most specific posts I've ever written, you can totally hate me for not being relatable) I can't describe our friendship because my words won't do it justice. But I can at least ...

I remember my dreams quite often. And most of them are weird af. I have decided not to stress anymore about the content of this blog and just write about what I want to remember. I hope that's okay w you. So it started with a play rehearsal at school. It was hella odd and I had to hold hands and dance with someone who could've been rajnikant on a 5 feet high stand made of sticks. It wasn't a solid structure. It was kind that they make around buildings when it's supposed to be painted. Anyway, after rehearsal went well, I went to inquire on some people as to why they didn't come. Somehow two of those people were a couple with apparently seven kids. (ik I'm crazy. Sue me) They were on an bus duty for four other families with seven kids ¿?¿ and therefore were handling 35 kids. Then one of my friends, Vishal, gets Smera and I to the top floor somehow and we are standing in front of the junior wing staircase in the middle of the school. Here comes the weird pa...

A couple of days ago I was travelling from Chandigarh to Delhi. Once we entered Delhi, I was just looking out the window and you know, observing. I saw a man in a regular car, it was a Honda City I guess. He was singing to himself it appeared. But a little later I saw a lady sitting in the passenger seat, probs his wife, making a video of him singing. It was actually quite cute. They were laughing and being all happy and my mind automatically thought "goals". A couple of minutes later I saw a couple in an Audi. The man was scowling and the lady was looking down at her phone, least bothered. Maybe the Honda people were had the greatest day and maybe the Audi people were having the worst day ever or just tired. I don't know. But what I want to say is that having more money doesn't m3an being more happy. Happiness comes from us. Happiness comes from people around us. It doesn't matter whether you have a Maruti or a Porsche Cayenne. If you're not happy, none of ...

I might've wrote about this before but I have a feeling that it must've been ages ago if I did. So basically my question to you is, Does it scare you? The future? Because I am terrified. I don't normally think about what is to happen or what is in store because thinking about it  makes my head hurt. But it's just that the other day I was talking to a friend of mine and I realized how things change in an instant. We might think it takes a shittonne of time for things to change because as we live day by day everything stays the same for the most part but as we look back a month or a year we see how different everything is. People leave, things change, new people come into your life. I'd like to point out all the things that have changed in my life recently. (Or the last 3 years) Just about a month ago I decided to text this said friend because this other friend set it up. And well now we talk without fail almost everyday late into the night. It's nothing ...

Where I'm from, alot of people change schools after tenth grade to go to school who have a better faculty for their subjects of choice. (Yes, we get to choose subjects in 11th grade, not before that). I'm staying where I am though. (For those who are curious, I'll be taking Sociology, Psychology, Web Technology, Economics and English, which is compulsory.) And I still have to take my finals but I think I should document that last actual day. BTW, I'm just gonna use real names because I don't want to forget who did what when I read this in the future. Well here's how the last working day of 10th went. We had all decided to get a spare school tshirt to write wishes and stuff on. So we got those and kept them away for a later hour.  In the fourth period, our class teacher (Preeti Ma'am) came into the room. She made us tell stories about the past years and how they have shaped us. Shashvat told us about the first day he came to school in fourth grade and...

Hey people of the internet! How're you doing? Good? I hope so. I hope each and everyone of you is having a good day and if not, I hope it gets better. I'm just going to ramble for a few, this isn't a proper post, sorry.  So I had this thought the other day about destiny (or fate). There are two ways to think of it.  First is that we make our destiny. Everything thing we do, every decision we take, is creating a future for us. We are shaping our fate with every thought we have.  The second way is that fate is predetermined.  There is a place where we are supposed to reach and we do not have any choice but to follow the path that is laid out for us. We might think we have a say but we don't. There might be many doors in front of us but those doors ultimately lead to the same path that was set for us.  Personally, I believe in the second way. We might think 'life is what you make it" but in reality, everything you'll ever achieve, people you'll meet,...

1. EXO (or basically k-pop): EXO is my bias group though (that's fancy for your favourite). They had 12 members earlier but now there are 9. It took me a week and a half and the help of a friend (who introduced me to k pop) to get all their names right. My first impression was "THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME?!" And they do during photoshoots but if you watch their Showtime episodes (that's bascially like KUWK) you start to notice differences and also that they're actually really different from each other but all of them are just a s fun. Now to the actual music. It's catchy, it's got a good beat and the lyrics are good (I mean from what I understood from the translations lol) BTW THEIR DANCING. THEY SLAY AT DANCING. Check out "Growl", "Call Me Baby", and "Love Me Right" if you want to give them a try. Other good groups are BTS, Girl Generation, 4Minute, and GOT7 2. Anime: Also known as Japanese Cartoons. They all have such unique...

Hello people of the internet. I'm still here, still alive. I know I haven't been the best blogger and it's been ages since I've posted. I don't really have any excuses for this other than I didn't feel like posting. I didn't want to give to shitty posts that I wrote just for the sake of it. I am however, really active on my writing page on Instagram. The username is veinsofstardust for those of you who didn't know. I don't really know what to write even now. My story has been on hold since March I guess (not that any of you really care about it lol)  Because I have no idea what to say, I'll take up a viewer request and tell you about my relationship which is now in its 11th month. I met Anthony in September 2015. Those who know me already know the story of how I met him. My cousin introduced us. He was two years senior to her in school. (Oh and yeah, he's a Brit who lives in the US but is right now in Melbourne for volunteer work. Such a...