Still Here

Hello people of the internet. I'm still here, still alive. I know I haven't been the best blogger and it's been ages since I've posted. I don't really have any excuses for this other than I didn't feel like posting. I didn't want to give to shitty posts that I wrote just for the sake of it. I am however, really active on my writing page on Instagram. The username is veinsofstardust for those of you who didn't know. I don't really know what to write even now. My story has been on hold since March I guess (not that any of you really care about it lol) 

Because I have no idea what to say, I'll take up a viewer request and tell you about my relationship which is now in its 11th month.

I met Anthony in September 2015. Those who know me already know the story of how I met him. My cousin introduced us. He was two years senior to her in school. (Oh and yeah, he's a Brit who lives in the US but is right now in Melbourne for volunteer work. Such a good soul, bless him.). He finished high school this July and will turn 20 this September. (He joined school a year late) 

Yeah yeah I know "HE IS 4.5 YEARS OLDER? LIKE WHY ARE YOU WITH HIM?" Well I guess when you're with the right person, it doesn't really matter. It's not like we're having sex (which would have been illegal seeing he's an adult and I'm a minor). The thing is we both know we're living in a fantasy. It would take a miracle for us to have a happy ending. And somehow we're okay with it. When you have something so beautiful, you shouldn't worry about what will happen, you should instead, live in the present and embrace everything that it offers. 

He is such an amazing person. He genuinely cares. Not everything is physical with him. He loves how I look but he wouldn't care if I had been less attractive or something. He asks me how my day went every time we talk and doesn't force me to talk to him when I'm not feeling upto it. Those days he just tells me to take care and have a good day and that he loves me (lol how cute is that?)  We text almost everyday, call like once in a fortnight and video calls are rare because I don't really like them.

I mean don't get me wrong, we do have our hot moments and scandalous photos being exchanged and I love that but at the same time we enjoy it because we know we have something real. Something worth the struggle.  There is a sense of trust and safety and that is what I love the most. 

As for fidelity, many of you might be like "pfft, she's in a dreamworld, that dude is fucking a side hoe for sure." We talked about it when we first got into this relationship. It's impossible to expect that neither of would flirt or pursue anyone while being so far away. It's just basic human nature. We decided that we wouldn't get mad if the other found somebody or in his case, slept with somebody as long as we're honest about it. Fortunately, we're both satisfied with the occasional hot sexting and nobody has strayed as of yet. That's another reason why I love him, we have full freedom but he hasn't still cashed that in. 

Now comes the bit that I'm not so happy about, he decided that he wanted to join the Army. (He has dual citizenship and I don't know how the fuck does that work but he can by some means apply to the US and the Brit govt.) This month he has a physical exam and if he passes that which I'm sure he will he starts training September end. The background checks have already been done and he's been approved. So basically, most prob, we'll be breaking up if he joins. Not because I couldn't handle it but because of the time gaps. It's already hard to talk with so many time zones in between and with him in the army, it's gonna be close to impossible. (Maybe we can try, it will be hard but maybe we can.)

His friends know about me like mine know about him and he's holding off to tell his mom till I'm 16 (hoping that we last till then). 

Okay what else, he's hot. He's 6'1 (or 6'3" I always get confused). He has the most pretty greyish brown eyes and he loves to cuddle and give forehead kisses. 

THE DREAM WE HAVE: If we actually but some miracle, get together, we'll get two dogs, a Pitbull and a Pomeranian and he knows that I'm saving myself for marriage so we won't be all out fucking. He respects my wishes and would want things to happen when I want them to happen. We'll probably find a place near the outskirts of London because that's where most of his family lives and I've always wanted to live in the UK or NYC. We sometimes joke about having kids and driving them round the country but that's REALLY FAR OFF AND IT'S JUST A RANDOM THOUGH NOW AND THEN

Well I guess that's it. Hope you have had a nice summer and I'll see you all next time. Till then this is me, signing off! xoxo

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