A Beautiful Mess

How do I say this without sounding crazy? 

So remember that post I wrote? Question Hour back in October? I said I didn't have a boyfriend but I kindda lied. I do have one. 

We've been together almost 4 months now. Not the longest but they have been the most beautiful 4 months ever. Honestly. Well who is it, you might ask. That is when the cray sets in. He turned 18 at the end of the previous year. And well, he lives across the world. It's hard being with him with the time lag and everything and because he starts college this fall while I'll start sophomore year in high school (a.k.a. 10th grade). 

What made me tell you after hiding it so much? A couple of days ago something really big took place. He said that he loved me. *Pauses to let that sink in* He was so nervous. Running his fingers through his hair, looking anywhere except at me, in short, he looked like a lost puppy. A lost puppy with the most amazing grey eyes that make me loose track of everything when I look into them. (We Skype alot) And when I said I did too those grey eyes lit up. I can never forget the way he looked at me at that very moment. It's true that he's never physically next to me but when it feels right, you can feel their warmth even when your alone. 

To quote Queen Swift, 

Okay so this is getting to tumblry. Let me get back to the reason I'm writing this post.

The thing is that me and this guy being together for a long time is basically out of the question. Maybe a year more? You might know how hard it is to be in a relationship but very few people know the feeling oh hopelessness when your love is 10,000 miles from you. But this has taught me to believe. To believe in the impossible. At the end of the day, that's what really matters. And for that very reason, I wrote something a while ago. 

"I've always thought that the Universe was cruel. It made me meet you even when it knew it was impossible for us to exist. But now it makes sense. We can be so fiercely in love with all this distance in between. Now, I just think that the Universe was afraid of being burnt to ashes by our strength if we were side by side."

But who knows, maybe this mess might actually follow script of my book and turn out to be this incredible fantasy that so many dream of. All it takes is a plane ticket and an opportunity. Maybe I'll got to college in the US? Maybe he comes here to take me away? (Nah, he ain't that rich) If this becomes my world, I would be the luckiest. And if it doesn't, well... I would be heart broken but the time with him would be cherished forever. Just Believe. 

Till next time, this is me signing off. xoxo


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